I’ve been posting a lot about food because, well, I love
to eat but I think it’s time to mix it up a bit. If you follow me on any social
media sites, you know that I’ve posted about this before. I thought I would go
into a little more detail now & just get a few things out there that have
been bouncing around in my head lately.
Before I found crossfit I was an active/athletic
person, I worked out regularly whether it was running, playing basketball, taking
spin classes at Gold’s Gym, popping a workout video in at home, etc. I was also
very mindful of what I ate, which really wasn’t a whole lot. I thought the less
I ate & the more I controlled what I put in my mouth the more weight I
would lose. This did help for a while considering I was wearing a size 2
regularly. I had that female mindset of wanting that small waist, small pants
size & relying on the scale to determine my mood for the day– if it showed
me a steady 135 lbs. it was going to be a good day. I was also an extremely
picky eater; if it wasn’t in my small category of food groups I wouldn’t eat it
– most vegetables (yuck), meat (yuck). I ate chicken here & there but I
would have spurts of becoming a vegetarian & then falling off the wagon
after inhaling a cheeseburger. I was all over the place. If I could’ve eaten
junk food & candy all day, I probably would’ve & made myself completely
sick in the process. Obviously these eating habits took a toll on my working
out & having the energy to do so.
ENTER crossfit.
I still remember my first class with my friend,
Kateri. We showed up at 6:00 p.m. at Capital Crossfit in Loudoun & the
“WOD” (what the hell does that mean?) was 50 Power Cleans (135/95) for time. I
had no idea what a Power Clean was but I had already told myself that there was
no way I could do 50 of them before the class was over, so I told myself to
just do the best I could. We met the coach, went through the warm up &
demonstration on a proper Power Clean. I scaled the weight to 80# because 95#
seemed terrifying to me – meanwhile that 50 reps was haunting me. I kept asking
myself, “Who can do 50 of these?? There is just no way. This is crazy. Why am I
here?? I don’t even like to lift. Great idea, Danielle. Why can’t we run??”
The coach gave us the countdown – 3, 2, 1 & then
started the timer. I did one rep at a time & they were u-g-l-y ….“You ain’t got no alibi – you ugly. Yeah, yeah you ugly!”
Sorry, just had to. Getting back to the reps - not only were they ugly but they
were painful. I was either hitting
my collar bone with the bar, one of my wrists wouldn’t flip under the bar to
land the Clean, and one rep I actually hit myself in the chin with the bar.
Yep, I was in hell. 50 reps of hell.
To make matters worse, the coach had announced during the WOD that “Everyone
will finish their 50 reps, I don’t care if it takes you all night, you aren’t
leaving here until you’ve finished.” At that moment Kateri & I looked at
each other with exhausted & shocked expressions. She then pointed at me
& said, “This was all your idea.” She was right, this was my idea – the
worst idea that I’ve ever had.
Believe it or not, Kateri & I finished that WOD
before the 7:00 class started. I don’t remember our exact times but we were the
last 2 people in the class to finish. Our bodies were bruised, our hands were
red, raw & blistered & we looked completely exhausted - then our
post-WOD euphoria set in – we felt strong, confident & proud of ourselves
for making it out alive. We went back the next day & became members. =)
Since starting crossfit my body has made some serious
changes. In the beginning I was more of the bodyweight crossfitter, weights
weren’t all that appealing to me & I didn’t really care how much I could
Clean, Jerk, Squat, Snatch or Deadlift. I just wanted to kill the cardio WODs.
Kateri & I.
My first crossfit competition.
ENTER competitions.
After switching gears from a crossfitter to a crossfit
competitor my body changed again. I felt like I had a good balance of cardio
& lean muscle. I was putting up average weights but nothing extremely
impressive. I was happy with my body image during this phase. There wasn’t a
WOD that I would do without taking my shirt off, it became a staple in my
training. It’s true what they say, working out will give you confidence. I had
also started seeing a sports nutritionist to help with this life change. I
wanted to eat & fuel my body properly in order to perform.
Raleigh Superfit competition.
Jenn & I training at the box.
ENTER weights & protein shakes.
After finding crossfit competitions & having them
become a regular part of my weekends, my body changed again. I wanted to lift
more & started to care about PRing & seeing how far I could push my
body. My eating habits changed, I eat more than I have ever eaten before & I'm always hungry. I’m
thicker than I was & not so lean, my shoulders are broader, my thighs are bigger
& my back is wider. I have all the signs that point to lifting weights.
Training at the box.
Post-WOD selfie.
Richmond Superfit competition.
Most days I like my body, especially those days when I’m
PRing my Squat Clean, Snatch, etc. But I still have those days, even now, where
I daydream about that leaner body image & wishing I had it. I think those
days come more often when my clothes are fitting snug & I’m refusing to go
up a size because dammit I want that size 4, I don’t want to move up to a 6! It’s
that female mindset creeping in & trying to tell me that women aren’t
supposed to look like I do. I should be smaller, more slender, more “womanly” –
what the hell does that even mean?? I’ve had my fair share of run-ins with
people who feel the need to negatively comment on my figure. I’ll be the first
person to say that lifting isn’t for everyone, but don’t knock it just because
it’s not for you. Accept that everyone’s different & that everyone has
their own interests. Accept it & move on.
I’ve come to the realization that I’ll probably always
daydream about that leaner body image but if being a little thicker, a little
more broad shouldered & a little bigger in the thighs means that I get to
lift….& lift heavier weights - I’m perfectly fine with that. Lifting makes
me happy. It makes me feel powerful. It makes me feel confident. It makes me
feel strong. So remember to do what you love & what makes you happy –
everything else will fall into place. =)