Change

I’ve never been a person that likes change. I’m a routine kind of girl - something that I can count on when nothing else seems to be going right. Other things may be crazy but my normal day to day routine is the thing that keeps me sane. When that starts to fall apart things can get overwhelming for me. When I was younger I didn’t handle change well. I’d like to say that I’m better handling it now, but I’m not quite there yet. I’m still a work in progress.

In the past year I’ve made a lot of changes, some minor & some major – life changing to be accurate. I suppose you could say that I reached a point where I felt change was necessary & no matter how scary I thought or knew those changes were going to be, I felt they needed to be made. That it would be the best thing in the long run.

9 out of 10 days I don’t regret the decisions I’ve made, but every once in a while I get one of those days that makes me over think (women are notorious for that, right?). That one day that makes me question, what if I hadn’t made those changes? Would things in my life be better? Would they be worse? These questions really only last a little while & then I’m back to reality, but it still makes me have that “what if” feeling.

Losing a loved one is definitely the most catastrophic change that there is. I know it was for me. It breaks you in a way that you never imagined. It changes you. Not only does it make you second guess, but it also puts in perspective that life is short & that you should be genuinely happy with where you are & what you’re doing.

Lately I’ve been feeling like my routine has fallen off its steady track & has left me grasping to get it back. I haven’t been able to put my finger on the reason why, but I’m hoping it’ll be back to normal sooner rather than later. Everyone has good & bad days – that’s a given. It’s how you navigate through them that make the difference. One day at a time, one obstacle at a time.